Hey lovers, from lots of other mothers. 

Happy Saturday from San Diego!  I'm here visiting mi madre while she visits good friends. (I'm from the east coast so this is rare and special!) 

Alright let's get crackin.  I watched that movie the Shadow Effect and I took extensive notes - so get ready to go in.

To preface, I'm on a journey to discover and clean out my shadows and make room for greatness.  What are shadows you ask?  Shadows are the dark sides of us that are repressed.  It's those things we are ashamed of, aspects of ourselves that we'd like to keep hidden.  It's that thing we don't want people to see.  Things that we lie about.  In my journey to feel balanced and know and accept myself/love myself fully, I've got to become friends with my dark side. 

One important note the movie makes that made me feel at ease, is the reminder that you have to have the yin with the yang.   The soul must accept both sides and live in ALL of who we are.  When the dark sides don't get attention, they sneak out in different ways whether it be poor decisions, or self sabatoging acts.

How do we lose sight of our true selves?  From a young age, we are taught that certain things are not OK.  Our ego's survival technique then creates a mask that will bring us what we desire: love acceptance, and the attention that we hunger for.  Whether it be 'the good girl', 'the overachiever', the 'jokester',  'the intellect', the spiritual goddess even!  Our ego does certain things to be accepted in different communities, and it's important to become very grounded with oneself and ask the hard questions.  

What masks have you worn recently or in the past?  Why?  

I've worn the hippy mask, the I enjoy drugs mask, the southern bell mask, the I love fashion mask, and the ditz mask.  Why?  I was afraid of showing my true self and not being accepted.  Also, I don't believe I knew my true self at the time, so I was following the lead.  I wore masks so that people could make easy judgments on me and move along.  I was afraid of really being seen, because I didn't know what was there. 

What are ways that your shadow has come out?  

For me?  If I'm not authentic, I will go into a slight panic (which is new but VERY telling).  I will also just not feel myself.  Or I will crave things that are not good for me.  I also have these toenail clippers that I go to town with - that's when I know I'm not facing something or not honoring myself. 

Remember:

All experience is a result of contrast.  Light/Shadow

In order to have manifestation, you need opposing energies.  You need your enemies to be who you are.  The human soul is both. 

I'm keeping it short because I want to do this in stages and honor the time I/we spend on each thought process.  Take some time and meditate about this.  Ask yourself the tough questions.  I have   more to share but - one thought at a time. 

Love you guys,

Er