I have trust issues. Then again who doesn't. It's in our very nature to suspect others with whom we aren't familiar with. According to GoodTherapy.org, trust is a fundamental human experience, necessary for society to function and for any person to be relatively happy. Yes, I know dear old GoodTherapy.org, without trust, fear rules. However, what GoodTherapy.org isn't aware of is that need a good dose of fear to keep us alive. In the wild, animals depended upon stress during certain time to help them survive. At the very core of our beings, there is a healthy, rationalized fear that helps us be wary of potential threats and predators. Nearly millions of years ago, our hunter-gatherer ancestors depended upon cunning and instinct to survive. The need to survive originates from motivation and motivation is the innate desire to succeed. In a Leadership Trust article by George Telfer, he discusses if whether motivation is more intrinsic or extrinsic. He utilizes two examples of extrinsic and intrinsic ideas and that "trust may be the key component in all successful teams". There's that trust thing again. Why does it always boil down to trust? It is the one key thing that I am still asking myself. However, this evening, while I was reading two of my favorite philosopher's quotes, he says:
When love and trust meet, their ultimate byproduct is surrender. You relax into the master, into his being, without holding anything. It is certainly only for those who are ready to take a risk.
You cannot trust, because trust means losing your controlling to somebody else’s hands. You cannot surrender, you cannot love, you cannot pray. Even people making love cannot surrender; they go on controlling deep down. Hence, the real peak is missed. They learn techniques of how to make love. They can become very efficient lovemakers, but love is missed — because it has nothing to do with you. Love happens only when you are not there. Love happens only when you are surrendered to existence. Then there is a great orgasmic experience. Then you reach to the very peak of your being.
Beginning to trust someone means we must surrender our control. Control is something stemmed from fear and deters what is important to us. My trust may be broken by others but my love is still present and existing in myself. Osho also said that "only love creates trust". Aside from survival mode, love and trust are things we regularly deny ourselves. We need to find a solace in each other, a refuge which only trust and motivation can bring. We need to start taking those risks that love requires. Only then can we begin to heal and surrender. Surrender means love which is what we need.